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Council Members Want Three Western Wards to Secede From Takoma Park and Join Chevy Chase

White House Announces President Biden Having a “Bones Day”

Historians: Takoma Park’s Border Purposely Designed As Middle Finger to Everyone Else

Montgomery County Council Blames Shortage of Women Members on Supply Chain Issues

Entire Democratic Party Destroyed After Local Asshole Ignored 1,327th Campaign Email Asking for Only $5

Local YIMBY Can’t Resist Mentioning Number of Apartments That Can Fit on Cemetery During Grandmother’s Eulogy

Marc Elrich Opposes Seatbelt Mandate for County Drivers Who Don’t Feel Like Wearing One

Congressman Jamie Raskin Tricks Several Republicans into Getting Vaccinated During Game of ‘Simon Says’

MoCo Planning Commission Teaches Takoma Park Lesson By Making Them Continue Developing Takoma Junction Until They’re Sick of It

Peter Franchot’s Cousin’s Friend in Trinidad Says Proposed Development Will Cause Traffic Swelling in Takoma’s Junction

‘OlneyFans’ Website for MoCo’s New Baseball Team Crashes Due to Unusually High Traffic

Marc Elrich Responds to County’s Housing Crisis by Unveiling ‘Thrive Montgomery 1950’

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All written material on this site is the intellectual property of the Takoma Torch, and is only intended for people with a sense of humor. If you would like to submit a funny headline, please email it to takomatorch@gmail.com. If you have any complaints, please email dcra@dc.gov