SILVER SPRING, MD – Frustrated by a lack of enforcement to stop the recent wave of street racing in Downtown Silver Spring, County Councilmember Tom Hucker is going undercover to bust up the illegal activities now spreading through the county.
“This lawlessness needs to stop, so I’m taking matters into my own hands,” said Hucker, wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show off his temporary tattoo. “It might be difficult to prove I’m legit by driving this modified Prius, but hopefully my Vin Diesel-like shaved head will give me some street cred.”
Hucker’s move comes after several reports of dangerous activity in his district over the past few weeks, including reckless driving, robberies, and shootings. By disguising himself as a fellow street racer, Hucker hopes to infiltrate the group that’s responsible, earn their respect with amazing gear-shifting, and take down the ringleaders with only minimal damage to public property.
“I’ve been training really hard to make sure I get every detail right,” said Hucker as he stole his neighbor’s catalytic converter. “If I can pull this off, I’ll be a hero. And, even better, I might even be able to win over small business owners to support the Silver Spring BID.”
Even though he remains confident he’ll succeed in bringing justice to his district, Hucker worries he might get permanently sucked into the lifestyle of illegal street racing. To prevent that from happening, fellow councilmember Evan Glass promised to step in and help Hucker escape the criminal life if needed.
“I won’t let Tom get in too deep,” said Glass. “I’ve seen what happens when good people pretend to be someone else just to win over the wrong people, only to then forget who they really are. Just look what happened to Marc Elrich.”