Local News – Page 9 – The Takoma Torch

Takoma Park Residents Plan Protest of Children’s Business Fair for Promoting Capitalism

Local Teen Breaks World Record in Self-Reported Virtual 5k

New Chevy Chase Library Bans Books on High-Rise Affordable Housing

Takoma Park Residents Disappointed in Lack of Parking for Co-Op’s Earth Day Celebration

Democratic Primary Shake-up Leads to Montgomery County Republicans Increasing Their Chance of Winning to 0%

IRS Sets Net Worth Threshold At $750K for Progressives To Act Like Heartless Dickheads

Fast Food Chains Upset That Vegans Never Protest Their Takoma Park Establishments

Wealthy Areas of Montgomery County Propose PURGE to Solve Housing Crisis

Maryland Democrats Celebrate Large Field of Female Candidates Ready to be Governor Only If Male Governor Dies First

Maryland Primary Delayed 3 Weeks to Give Brooke Lierman More Time to Explain to Voters What a Comptroller Is

Takoma Park Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Turning All Traffic Signals Green

Takoma Park Invades Silver Spring in Hopes McDonald’s, Starbucks Also Suspend Operations in City Limits

All written material on this site is the intellectual property of the Takoma Torch, and is only intended for people with a sense of humor. If you would like to submit a funny headline, please email it to takomatorch@gmail.com. If you have any complaints, please email dcra@dc.gov