Parody – Page 8 – The Takoma Torch

Taliban Denies Afghan Capital Insurrection Ever Happened

MCPS Begs Chef José Andrés to Rescue Them From Outdoor School Lunch Crisis

Catcher Refuses to Wear Mask Behind Plate, Citing 98% Survival Rate From Foul Tip Smashing Face

FDA Grants Full Approval For Anti-Vaxxers To Come Up With Another Convenient Excuse to Refuse COVID Vaccination

America’s Long Period of Not Worrying About Afghanistan Finally Comes to an End

Study: Nobody Who Moved Here After You Loves This Place As Much As You

MoCo Residents Deeply Divided over Silver Spring BID While Not Knowing What the Hell It Even Is

MoCo To Allow Alcohol In Public Parks Again But Only Special Edition County-Sponsored Beer

NASA Discovers Giant Meteor Headed Directly Towards Sherman Avenue

Judge Rules Gov. Hogan Must File Legal Appeals Through His Administration’s Shitty Unemployment Online Portal

Canceled Takoma Park Parade Actually Never Canceled, According to 9/11 Truthers

Hans Riemer Pledges to Have Beer With Every MoCo Resident During Campaign for County Executive

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