MoCo Residents Deeply Divided over Silver Spring BID While Not Knowing What the Hell It Even Is

SILVER SPRING, MD – Montgomery County Councilmembers, business owners and residents clashed this week over the proposed Silver Spring BID, all while having no clue as to what a BID even is.

“I’m so mad that the county rushed this process through,” said Michael Allen, a coffee shop owner on Fenton Street. “They’ve been talking about this for only two years, which didn’t give us nearly enough time to figure out what the hell BID even stands for!”

A BID, which apparently stands for Business Improvement District, maybe does some things to help local businesses. Or possibly not. But it might, unless it doesn’t. Like many things involving the government, an opaque acronym has been created and is being used to describe a complex public-private municipal governance model that very few people truly understand but for which everyone has a very strong opinion that is obviously well informed and correct.

“Look, I just heard about this for the first time yesterday,” said resident Michelle Johnson. “I haven’t read the bill, looked at any research or talked to anyone with relevant expertise, but I can already tell you that anyone who feels differently than I do on this issue is a hopeless moron who should have their citizenship revoked.”

After hearing that something was passed overwhelmingly by the County Council, County Executive Marc Elrich immediately held a press conference to announce he would veto it. “I don’t even know what the hell I’m vetoing, but I do know if Hans Riemer and Tom Hucker are for it, I’m 100% against it,” said Elrich about two of his opponents in the upcoming election.

Should the Council override Elrich’s potential veto of the Silver Spring BID, residents are prepared to determine whether or not they should plan to either celebrate or protest, or celebrate AND protest, or perhaps neither. But who really knows.