Parody – Page 12 – The Takoma Torch

Democrats Worried Canadian Post Office Won’t Deliver Mail-In Immigration Applications in Time

Amy Coney Barrett Looking Forward to Stripping Away Rights From Her Daughters

Exclamation Point Endorses Kate Stewart for Mayor

Amazon to Ship Takoma Park Orders in Etsy Boxes, Allowing Residents to Secretly Shop on Prime Day

Report: City Construction Projects Way Over Budget Due to Paying All These Corporate Shills

Stephen Miller Promises God He’ll Be Less Evil If He Survives COVID-19

Flower Avenue Road Construction Finally Complete, Ready To Be Torn Up Again

Target Unveils New Line of Fire Resistant Gender Reveal Party Supplies

Trump Awards Himself Medal of Honor for Avoiding STDs in the 80’s and 90’s

Public School System Brings Back ‘Clippy’ to Help Parents Navigate Online Classroom Portal

After Successful Convention, Democrats Change Slogan to ‘ABIDEN’

RNC Announces Final 2020 Convention Schedule of Events and Speakers

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