TAKOMA PARK, MD – Democrats are increasingly worried that the Canadian postal service is too understaffed to deliver the tens of millions of applications for permanent residency that are expected shortly after the election.
“We sent in our application over four weeks ago and still there has been no update on the Canadian immigration website about our status,” said Julie Richardson while wearing a Biden/Harris shirt. “We are planning to load up the Subaru Outback and apply in person on Wednesday if we don’t hear back soon. We’re not taking any chances.”
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau further fueled Democrats’ fears after indicating in an interview that he opposed providing additional Canadian taxpayer funds for Canada Post to manage the anticipated surge of mailed-in immigration forms from America. “I can’t ask Canadians to pick up the tab for the poor decision making of American voters,” said Trudeau. “I mean, Canadians are nice, but we’re not that nice.”
American politicians immediately pushed back on Trudeau. “At this juncture in our nation’s history, when the number of Americans applying by mail for Canadian citizenship pursuant to this Presidential election is expected to more than double from 2016, Canada must protect the right of all eligible American citizens to have their applications received,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said in a statement. “And we’re going to hold Trudeau accountable for his actions that are undermining this crucial public service and pillar of Canadian democracy that Americans in every corner of our country are counting on.”
Trudeau quickly downplayed fears of corruption by assuring Democrats that the Canada Post will have no problem making sure all of the applications will be received, noting that Canadians are actually looking forward to the opportunity to teach American liberals how a real universal healthcare plan gets implemented.