PHILADELPHIA – Holding onto a 12-11 lead at the end of the 8th inning, President Donald Trump demanded that the home plate umpire explain why his players had to take the field for another inning of play.
“I mean, we had this big lead, and then all of sudden the other team scores all these runs, and you have to wonder, where did all these runs come from?” asked Trump. “Letting this game enter the ninth inning is a major fraud on our nation. An embarrassment to the sport of baseball. We were getting ready to win this game. Frankly, we already won this game.”
Trump’s team had a much larger lead through the 7th inning. However, after ignoring repeated requests by assistant coaches to not use up all of his pitchers the day before, he had no option in the 8th inning but to send his back-up second baseman to the mound. The opposing team hammered the slow throwing righty for five runs to make it a very close game heading into the final inning.
Still, this did not prevent Trump from announcing his team as the winner and threatening to protest the game.
“We’ve been playing for over three hours and my fans deserve to know who won. So we are declaring this game a victory for our team,” said Trump. “If they make us play nine innings, we’re prepared to go to the commissioner of baseball, who had better remember that I’m the one who appointed him. We want all scoring to stop. We don’t want them to count any runs scored in the 9th inning – unless it’s for our team.”
When asked his thoughts on Trump’s claims of fraud, the umpire reassured fans that all nine innings will be played and that both teams would have an equal chance to score more runs before a winner is determined. “We absolutely will not change the rules of the game to favor any team,” said Umpire Fred Sanchez. “However, when the game is over, we can choose to give the losing team a participation trophy for having a larger crowd.”