Bluff Called on Americans Who Claimed They Wanted to Spend More Time With Family

After years of complaining about being too overworked to have enough time to spend with family, Americans were gifted a golden opportunity with a national call to stay at home in an effort to help prevent the spread of Coronavirus – and they didn’t even make it through the weekend.

“Ugh, I’m so tired of these people,” complained Matt Lee. “I’ve had to sit here and listen to my kids ask me a bazillion dumb questions. Nothing can be worse than this.”

With many Americans feeling trapped indoors while streaming movies, playing board games, and eating homemade meals together, some decided they just couldn’t take it anymore. “I just had to get away from everyone,” said Maggie Hartman. “All I want is a couple of hours to myself where I can be alone and read about terrifying news in peace. Is that too much to ask?”

All over social media sites, people posted about how hard life was after being called on to socially distance themselves for a few days. Hartman stated she couldn’t wait until leaders demanded that social distancing extended to separation even from immediate family members.

Many went as far as to say they might just risk it all and go back into work this week, as the thought of spending another minute with family was “(expletive) killing them.” [Editor’s note: Please don’t do this.]

“Don’t get me wrong – I love my family, and I genuinely do want to spend more time with them,” said Hartman. “But being told I HAVE to? No way in hell!”

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