‘People That Stand to the Left of Escalators Are Stupid’ Says DC Area Man Driving Slowly in Left Lane of Beltway

CAPITAL BELTWAY, MD – Longtime DC area resident Richard Freeman did not mince words when describing people who block the Metro escalator during rush hour by standing on the left side, which is considered the passing side.

“These stupid people have either never ridden an escalator before, or just have no sense of awareness,” said Freeman as a line of 16 cars formed behind him in the left lane of the Capital Beltway. “Can you just imagine how frustrating it is when you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, and some moron without common sense is holding up everyone by blocking anyone from passing? It’s outrageous!”

Standing on the left side of the escalator is a huge pet peeve of many DC area residents, even though it is not considered as rude in many other parts of the U.S. As tourists, guests and transplants flood the city during the summer, it’s common to witness culprits getting lectured about the local etiquette or hear passive-aggressive mumblings from those trapped behind them.

“I can’t tell you how infuriating it is that this isn’t the rule everywhere,” said Freeman, speaking louder than the constant stream of honking cars behind him. “Slow people need to stay to the right so people in a hurry can get by freely on the left. This is an established rule that we have worked very hard to maintain in our society, and if you don’t understand this concept, you’re a complete clueless idiot.”

After blasting poor escalator etiquette for almost thirty minutes, Freeman suddenly realized that he was about to miss his exit. Cutting across four lanes of traffic without using his turn signal, he managed to barely exit the Beltway before proceeding to block an entire intersection in an effort to beat a red light, then failed to yield to pedestrians at a crosswalk, and finally found a parallel parking space in a clearly marked bike lane.