Conservatives Upset There’s No ‘White Friday’ Shopping Day

A backlash is growing against the popular “Black Friday” shopping day by conservatives who feel the term discriminates against white people shopping for deal and discounts.

“Every year, these woke retailers flood our inboxes with Black Friday advertisements,” said Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX). “When will we get our own day to get deals on things like Michael Bolton CDs, Gap sweaters and unseasoned chicken?”

Conservatives believe the term “Black Friday” violates their anti-critical race theory bills, which aim to restrict certain race-related content in workplaces, schools and colleges. However, their proposed restrictions on retail stores and online shopping websites is still being challenged by federal courts.

“We proudly accept shopping for discounts the day after Thanksgiving. We do not accept woke indoctrination masquerading as a clearance sale,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “We will never surrender to the woke mob, even if that mob is trying to get a 75 inch flat screen TV for 200 dollars at Wal-Mart.”

Conservative leaders, led by new House Speaker Mike Johnson, are planning to create a new national sales day called “White Friday,” which will take place the week before Thanksgiving, allowing shoppers to essentially cut in line and snatch up all the deals before Black Friday.