Just Kidding! Takoma Park Doesn’t Really Respect Individualist Artistic Expression

TAKOMA PARK, MD – In the midst of massive opposition to the construction of a new, contemporary-style home on Carroll Avenue, Takoma Park residents were forced to admit that the city’s storied reputation for valuing individuality and artistic expression was actually just a long-running prank being pulled on the rest of the county.

“I can’t believe someone actually thought they could come here and design a unique-looking house on their own private piece of land,” said Anders Gibson while wearing a “Non-Conformist” shirt. “Everybody here knows that the only allowable architecture style must look like it is from a specific historic time period that we already predetermined.”

The prank was finally exposed last week after a picture of the new home under construction on the Takoma Park Facebook Group received hundreds of negative comments. Up until that point, the entire city had worked hard to sell the prank with many residents’ cars bearing “Keep Takoma Park Weird” bumper stickers and yards with “All Are Welcome Here” signs.

“Clearly, if you fell for this obvious prank, you haven’t been paying attention,” said Lee Porter. “We’ve consistently fooled people with weird takes on a bunch of local issues, like when we convinced people that protecting parking lots will save the environment, fighting density will create more affordable housing, and doing everything we can to stop Montgomery College from expanding on their lot is being a welcoming community.”

After successfully pulling off the prank, Takoma Park is now working on its next one – convincing everyone that the development at Takoma Junction isn’t still the dominant issue in city elections.