Hans Riemer Responds to the Takoma Torch 2022 MoCo Candidate Questionnaire

Hans Riemer is a candidate for Montgomery County Executive.

From his website (www.hansriemer.com):
“On the Council, Hans has stayed true to his values and his belief that we can have growth, a clean environment, sustainable energy and liveable communities. In this way, Hans works to take the best of progressive thinking from the 20th century and reimagine it for the 21st century with its demand for equity, opportunity and solutions that work for and advance all. His belief that communities must have job growth to succeed has guided his embrace of private sector innovation and his unwavering leadership for housing policies that support a growing, diverse workforce. His environmental commitment is reflected in his bold advocacy for policies to reverse climate change, including a plan to power the County with locally generated solar energy. At home, Hans and Angela have two boys, ages 13 and 10, both MCPS students. They live in Takoma Park.”

Below are his answers to our important questions:

1. If the MoCo government was a dictatorship, what’s the first thing you would do as its unquestioned supreme leader?
   Issue an edict requiring every County resident to attend a Fourth of July parade wearing American flag pants.
2. Which superhero would you hire to run MCPS and why?
   Whenever I ask the kids what they want improved at school they say the food. So how about Jose Andres
3. Mosquitos or cicadas?
   You know, everybody so far has said they prefer cicadas, but if you think about it, cicadas spend most of their lives alone and underground, like my trolls on Twitter, so I’m leaning towards the bloodsuckers. 
4. If Elon Musk offered 44 billion dollars to buy Montgomery County, how would you respond?
   Uh, David Blair already tried that…next!
5. Which Golden Girl are you and why?
   I’d have to go with Dorothy’s ex-husband, Stanley Zbornak. Like me, he’s always popping up to ask for money
6. If you had to send a mixtape to your opponent(s), what songs would it include?
   For David Blair: I’m Just a Bill, Schoolhouse Rock!
   For Marc Elrich: the Flintstones theme song
   For Peter James: the Jetsons theme song 
7. Who would you Kiss/Marry/Kill between Bethesda, Silver Spring, and Gaithersburg?
   I’d ask Gaithersburg to kiss Bethesda while Silver Spring watches — for all the Olney fans.
8. You’re watching a baseball game and the umpire blows a call that ruins the game for your team. Tear him a new one in 6 words or less.
   “Your vision is like Marc Elrich!“
9. On a scale of 1 to 10, how nervous are you that this survey will be posted all over social media?
   Just nervous about my Olney fans
10. If you had to earn a very important endorsement with a cheesy pick-up line, what would yours be?
    Are you a YIMBY? Because I can see us saying “yes” in my backyard

Hans, you have an open invitation to our backyard anytime.