MoCo Now Requires 15% of New Retail Space in Silver Spring Be Reserved for 1950’s Diners Serving Pancakes 24/7

SILVER SPRING – Just days after Tastee Diner’s closure sent shockwaves through Montgomery County, the county council quickly responded with legislation setting aside 15% of new retail space in Downtown Silver Spring for 1950’s-style diners serving pancakes 24 hours a day.

“Montgomery County is proud to be the first to adopt inclusive residential zoning regulations, and now we are the first to have inclusive commercial zoning regulations as well,ā€ said Council President Evan Glass. “This is just the first of many steps to help address our shortage of places to eat pancakes while drunk at 3am.ā€

The commercial Mandatory Pancake Diner Unit (MPDU) requirement comes after several long-term Silver Spring residents complained that new restaurants were ignoring their needs by catering to new, younger residents’ upscale demands for avocado toast, oat milk lattes, and other exotic menu items. The MPDU set-aside ensures access to restaurants serving traditional pancakes and coffee during all hours of operation and in a setting with music that predates Gen X or any later generation. Also, due to strict height restrictions set forth by Historic Preservation laws, only short stacks will be available.

“Reminding these kids how great things were back in the good old days should reverse the decline of Downtown Silver Spring,” said Jean Breyer, 75, of Woodside Park. “Back then, when we ordered a side of home fries, not a single person could be seen reaching for the hot sauce, if you catch my drift.”

When asked for comment on whether this bill will help long-term Silver Spring residents find a new place that serves breakfast all day, a representative of Flip’d, IHOP’s new breakfast concept that opened in DTSS last year, responded “Are you fucking kidding me?”