GEORGETOWN – After DC’s Historic Preservaton Board ordered a Georgetown resident to remove statues of Transformers cartoon characters from the front of his historic house, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles quickly withdrew their application for a planned renovation of their home inside a nearby sewer system.
“Kicking out Bumblebee and Optimus Prime was a total bummer, dude,” said lead turtle Leonardo between breakdance moves. “We’ve been around for a long time, but I guess they don’t think the 80’s is old enough to be historic.”
The Georgetown Transformers have been successfully keeping the Decepticons at bay since 2021, but they ultimately proved to be no match for a small neighborhood association with an outsized sense of its own importance. And their defeat has empowered that association to further exercise its power, warning the community about the slippery slope of allowing other cartoon characters to live in Georgetown.
“We won’t let Georgetown become a toxic dump filled with empty pizza boxes littering our streets,” said Oroku Saki of the Prospect Street Citizens Association. “I don’t care if they’re all named after Italian Renaissance artists and architects. If the Ninja Turtles can’t comply with our historic sewer design standards, they should go find another street to live under.”
The firm position of the historic Board has caused a number of other 80’s cartoon characters to also temper their own home renovation plans. Papa Smurf redesigned a proposed addition from a mushroom shape to traditional colonial style, and He-Man has agreed to use standard brick patterns instead of bones on Castle Grayskull. However, a new wing of Scrooge McDuck’s mansion containing an indoor swimming pool filled with gold coins was unanimously approved.