TAKOMA PARK, MD – After watching his son swing and miss on the first pitch of his plate appearance, Pat Hallowell instinctively knew the only way to help Miles succeed was to yell “keep your eye on the ball” from the bleachers.
“It’s the secret to good hitting that was passed down from my dad, who learned it from his dad, who also learned it from his dad,” said Hallowell, who has never actually played competitive baseball before. “I probably should be coaching this team, but I just don’t have time to deal with annoying parents.”
After another swing-and-a-miss on the next pitch, Hallowell repeated the tip even louder to not only make sure Miles heard him, but also to impress the other parents on the bleachers with his baseball wisdom. His advice eventually worked: the pitcher’s next four pitches were nowhere close to the strike zone, earning Miles a walk.
“See? It worked!” shouted Hallowell to the other parents. “I don’t know why the coach hasn’t figured out this strategy by now. Instead, he just makes these confusing signals from third base which are just way too complicated for me to understand.”
Building on his success as an unofficial hitting coach, Hallowell says he’s also looking forward to the bottom half of the inning, when he plans to constantly remind the pitcher on his son’s team to “just throw strikes.”