Gas Leaf Blowers Banned from Marching in 4th of July Parade

TAKOMA PARK – After being banned from working in the city several years ago, the Gas Powered Leaf Blowers Association, GPLBA, took another blow this month as their application to march in the annual Takoma Park 4th of July parade was denied.

In an effort to win support, the GPLBA offered to march at the very end of the parade so they can clean up all the confetti and other celebration debris while they marched. Still, they were rejected.

“I dont understand, we thought Takoma Park was inclusive,” said Gabriel Somers, President of GPLBA. “This is a violation of our freedom of speech and we will not be blown to the curb!”

The Takoma Park Parade Committee responded to criticisms with the following statement on their official Twitter feed:

“The Takoma Park 4th of July Parade has always been inclusive of all groups who want to participate in our day of freedom. However, we will not allow any float or demonstration that creates loud noises or burning fossil fuels.”

Realizing their statement, they immediately decided to cancel the fireworks show.

Somers, determined to seek justice, filed an appeal at the Montgomery County Circuit Court, which will be decided just days before the event. In the meantime, members of the GPLBA have been holding several protests at the city hall entrance.

“Leaf us alone!” they chanted as each city council member walked through the doors. One protestor held up a sign reading “Anti-Gas Blowing Laws Suck!”

“We always look forward to seeing the Gas Powered Leaf Blowers every year, especially my son who suffers from asthma,” stated Jean Carey. “I dont know what the big deal is.”

“It just won’t be the same this year,” said Ruben Gutierrez. “First they banned the leaf blowers, then canceled the firework. What’s next? Allowing 9/11 Truthers to march in our parade?”

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