WASHINGTON – As a child celebrity, Baby Sinclair was America’s darling. He graced prime time television with his cute face and memorable quotes, such as “Not the Mama!” and “I’m the baby, gotta love me!”
His popularity during the 90’s grabbed the attention of President Trump when looking to replace his previous Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, also a former TV celebrity as a Keebler elf.
“Everybody loves Baby Sinclair. Not as much as they love me of course,” stated Trump. “He’s going to be a tremendous, loyal Attorney General. I just love it when he walks in the room, points at me, and says, ‘Not Obama!’ Classic, Baby Sinclair!”
Now an ancient relic searching for relevance, Sinclair heads a Justice Department embroiled in several controversial issues, such as immigration enforcement and obstruction of justice. Sinclair believes justice should be handled like it was thousands of year ago.
“In the prehistoric days, there were no courts or litigation,” stated Sinclair. “If you misbehaved, you got eaten by someone higher up in the food chain. We need to return to those days.”
For Baby Sinclair, the transition has not been easy. In only his first year, Congress has voted to hold him in contempt and he faces intense scrutiny from the media. Still, Sinclair seems unfazed.
“As a dinosaur, I’m naturally used to the cut-throat work environment under President Trump,” said Sinclair. “He’s like a Tyrannosaurus Rex – I never know when he’s going to bite my head off, and he’s got tiny hands.”