Takoma Park has been through a lot this year. Budget cuts. Endless meetings. Group texts about leaf blowers that somehow turned into 47-comment debates about late-stage capitalism. It’s been… a journey. So we’re doing what any responsible hyper-local satire publication would do in a time of civic exhaustion:
We’re throwing a party.
The Takoma Torch 7th Anniversary Party
📍 American Legion Post 41 – 911 Sligo Ave, Downtown Silver Spring
🗓 Saturday, February 21
⏰ 6:30 PM until the karaoke machine mercifully overheats
This year, we are generously offering:
- 🍺 Free beer and wine (because nuance is hard, but merlot is easy)
- 🎂 Free cake (7 years old, like the Torch, but fresher)
- 🎤 Karaoke (finally, a public comment period where no one cuts you off after three minutes)
It’s been a tough year. National chaos. Local chaos. The kind of chaos where you open the news and immediately consider moving to a remote village. This party is our chance to take our minds off the world – or at least loudly sing over it.
Whether you’ve been reading the Torch since Year One or you just discovered us after angrily Google searching your councilmember’s contact info so you can send a complaint email, this night is for you. Local Experts. Activists. Bureaucrats. The guy who always emails “Reply All.” Everyone is welcome.
Come raise a glass. Eat some cake. Sing something defiant, nostalgic, or wildly off-key. For one night, we suspend all parliamentary procedure.
See you Saturday at 6:30.
Because if we’re going down, we’re going down doing karaoke.
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