WASHINGTON, DC – As a massive snowstorm blanketed much of the DC region today, prominent MAGA leaders denounced the snowy attack on the nation’s capitol as an illegal attempt to stop the certification of the 2024 election results.
The storm, which has delayed flights and clogged streets, coincidentally arrived on the anniversary of the original January 6th Capitol riot, inspiring MAGA influencers to dub today’s event the “Capitol Insnowrection.”
“Let me tell you something, folks—I warned you about those heavily-armed Antifa Snowflakes. They are sneaky. Very sneaky,” said Trump to a crowd at a Bass Pro Shops parking lot. “Clearly the weather is colluding with the Democrats to undermine democracy. I offered 10,000 space heaters to Nancy Pelosi and she turned them down. SAD!”
Conspiracy theorist and pillow salesman Mike Lindell backed Trump’s claims, announcing he had uncovered “irrefutable proof” that snowdrifts were deliberately positioned to disrupt democracy. “If you connect the dots,” Lindell said, while holding a MyPillow and a map of weather patterns, “you’ll see that snowflakes are falling disproportionately in states Trump didn’t win. Coincidence? I think not!”
Marjorie Taylor Greene chimed in, accusing climate activists of weaponizing the weather. “How convenient that it’s snowing right now, on MAGA’s most sacred day. I mean, come on. Have you EVER seen snow in January?! I don’t think so.”
Meanwhile, supporters have already organized “Stop the Sleet” protests outside local meteorological offices, and MAGA forums are abuzz with calls to impeach the National Weather Service. Snow, for now, remains unavailable for comment.
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