THE METAVERSE – In an unprecedented act of sheer bravery at a time when humor has been banned until further notice, local liberal Jordan Thompson made headlines by publicly posting a Donald Trump assassination joke outside the confidential protection of his private Facebook messenger group.
“I can’t believe he actually posted it on social media for everyone to see,” said fellow liberal Ashleigh Winklevoss, who has been strangely laughing out loud in public every time she receives a notification on her phone. “Don’t get me wrong – I cracked up when I saw it in our private chat, but now I’m forced to publicly condemn this behavior and blame this type of dialogue on why us Democrats will definitely lose in November. Thanks a lot.”
Thompson, a self-described “hardcore” resistance liberal who voted for Obama twice but expressed concerns about Hillary, found the joke on a private Messenger group called Dems Who Still Laugh and shared it outside of the group on multiple social media accounts. “We have strict guidelines not to share posts outside of this chat,” said an anonymous member of the group. “Holy shit, if anyone ever saw the stuff we post here, we’d all be canceled.”
The joke will not be repeated here, but contains references to Jesus, Melania, and soiled underwear.
Meanwhile, Republicans took to social media to express their unprecedented outrage. “How dare someone say something terrible about a former President in a time like this with so much violence,” cried Daryl Skidmore wearing a shirt with an AR-15 and a bullseye over President Obama’s face, captioned with the words “Fuck Your Feelings.” “Now is not the time to say anything negative about Trump. Or Guns. Or anything that could make Republicans look bad by calling out their hypocrisy. It’s completely inappropriate and offensive!”
It remains to be seen if this act of bravery will spark others to come public with more private jokes and memes about President Trump. In the meantime, if you do see a liberal in public, be aware that they are working really hard to maintain a concerned, somber face as they desperately hold in their evil laughter, because admit it, you know you’re all doing it.
