Takoma Park Holds Competition to Name New Traffic Barricade

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Fresh off a successful contest to name its new all-electric street sweeper, the city’s Public Works Department is holding another competition to name the brand new traffic barricade located on New York and Takoma Avenues.

“We had so much fun reading all of the creative names residents came up with for the street sweeper that we thought we should do it again,” said Bradley Davis, the Director of Public Works. “We also look forward to a fun game that will distract residents from verbally abusing us over yet another city road closure.”

Only days into the contest, Public Works has already received hundreds more submissions for the traffic barricade than it received in total for the street sweeper competition. Some of the top submissions include Orange is the New Block, The Tax Increaser, Thanks Obama, and I Don’t Know How But This is Gentrification Somehow. Unfortunately, due to rules against profanity, over 95% of submissions have been disqualified.

“I guess we didn’t really foresee how vulgar this competition was going to get,” said Davis. “I can’t tell if some of these are actual submissions or if ‘Eat Shit and Die’ is something they really want us to do.”

The deadline for submissions is next Friday, after which the five nominees will be chosen for a public vote to pick the winner. Residents shouldn’t feel discouraged if their submission isn’t chosen, as Public Works promises there will be endless opportunities to name more new traffic barricades later this year.