Let’s face it – it’s been a tough year. We’ve elevated petty grievances into wars, unfriended people at a record pace, and completed none of our 2022 resolutions. But that’s the whole point of the New Year: we get a fresh start to pretend like we’re going to do better this time. It’s tradition, and we all know we should never, ever mess with tradition because change is bad.
We understand that some folks need a little help in getting started, which is why we’ve provided the following list of things to get rid of on your local Buy Nothing group, and all the new things you’ll need to stay slightly ahead of the curve, but probably not. Happy New Year!
| OUT | IN |
| Working From Home | Online Shopping at Work |
| Fighting Inflation | Fighting Moderation |
| Not Being a Karen | Not Even Caring |
| Washing Hands | Laundering money |
| Elbow Bumps | Knees to the Groin |
| Rigged Elections | Rigged Economies |
| Opposing Accessory Apartments | Opposing Chicken Coops |
| Trolling Greta Thunberg | Getting Arrested in Romania |
| Charcuterie | Charkoudian |
| Political Yard Signs | Year Round Christmas Lights |
| Fighting Development in Takoma Park | Fighting Development in Takoma, DC |
| Roe v Wade | Vasectomies |
| Shortages | Shrinkage |
| Movember | Puberuary |
| Pretending to Care About Afghanistan | Pretending to Care About Ukraine |
| Support for the Filibuster | Support for Unlimited Community Input |
| Gen X Listening to Kate Bush | Gen Z Listening to Kate Bush |
| Takoma Junction Debates | More Takoma Junction Debates |
| Missing Republic | Missing Mark’s Kitchen |
| NFTs | BIDs |
| Corn Kid | Edibles Dude |
| Protecting Historic Districts | Protecting Endangered Parking Lots |
| Losing by 77 votes | Losing by 32 votes |
| Takoma Park Library Expansion | Elitist Book Clubs |
| Sweatpants | More Sweatpants |
| Happy Hours with Co-workers | Office Liquor Cabinets |
| White Lotus: Sicily | White Lotus: Ocean City |
| Online Classes | Shitting on Teachers |
| Refusing to Sell Sports Team | Having a .500 Season |
| Trying Not to Get COVID | Getting COVID |
| QAnon Conspiracies | Progressives Against Progress |
| Banksy | Kindergarten Graffiti |
| Reducing Gas Prices | Eliminating Bike Lanes |
| Storming the Capitol | Flipping the House |
| Crashing Self-driving Teslas | Crashing Tesla Stock |
| Closing Streets to Cars | Closing Streets to People |
| “Crypto Bros” | “Developer Bros” |
| Soccer | Not Soccer |
| Dancing On TikTok Videos | Dancing Like Nobody’s Watching |
| Wearing Yoga Pants Everywhere | Actually Going to Yoga Classes |
| “There’s Only One Silver Spring” | North, West, East and South Bethesda |
