TAKOMA PARK, MD – As punishment for starting a development project at the Takoma Junction and then trying to get out of it once it got them into trouble, the Montgomery County Planning Commission has forced Takoma Park to continue working on the project until they get sick of it and never want to touch another parking lot development ever again.
“If Takoma Park thinks they can just walk away from this mess with just a slap on the wrist, boy, do I have news for them,” said Planning Chair Casey Anderson. “Just like my father did when he caught me smoking a cigarette as a child, we’re going to sit Takoma Park down and make them develop every single urban parking lot in the city until they puke, and then they’ll have learned their lesson.”
It all started last week when the city of Takoma Park asked the Planning Commission to end the Takoma Junction project, offering to give up its troubled plans for the development and promising to do better in the future. Instead of voting down the project, however, the Commission chose to delay its decision for another three months, giving Takoma Park plenty of time to think about what it did wrong.
“Takoma Park, you’re 131 years old, and it’s time you learn to deal with the consequences of your choices,” said Anderson. “I hope this lesson serves as a reminder for the next time you think you can develop buildings like Rockville or Bethesda. Maybe when you get to be as old as Brookeville you can make your own decisions, but right now, you live in my house under my rules!”
After making the city work on development proposals for several hours while finishing up other business at the hearing, Anderson reminded Takoma Park that he did this because he loves them and that he isn’t mad, just disappointed.
“I’m not doing my job if I don’t help Takoma Park learn from its mistakes,” said Anderson. “It might seem harsh, but they’ll thank me for it some day.”