ANNAPOLIS, MD – After repeated requests from local leaders of Maryland’s largest county, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan announced a mass vaccination site for Montgomery County but will locate it in Ocean City over Memorial Day weekend.
“I recognize that Montgomery County is a major economic engine of our great state, and it is important to get its residents vaccinated and back to spending money,” said Hogan. “That’s why we are planning to send them all the way across the state for their shots, so they can boost the local economy where more of my supporters live.”
The mass vaccination site will be located on the boardwalk at Thrashers, where the staff is accustomed to long lines of people waiting for their famous French fries. With 1.1 million MoCo residents needing vaccines, the waiting line will stretch along concession stands, boardwalk games, and shops, allowing vaccine seekers to be tempted to spend money on refrigerator magnets in the shape of flip flop sandals and 3-for-$10 tee shirts that say “I’m feeling crabby.”
While some Montgomery County residents were pleased to finally receive a dedicated mass vaccination site, many were not happy about the inconvenience of being forced to travel hours away for access to life saving medical care.
“We are in a climate emergency and all this driving by individual vehicles is terrible for our environment,” said Polly Anderson of Takoma Park. “How do they expect us all to drive out to the Eastern shore when my electric car battery won’t even reach Gaithersburg? This is ridiculous!”
When asked if his decision was an attempt to settle a political score with a solidly Democratic jurisdiction, Hogan assured everyone that he only had the welfare of Montgomery County residents in mind. “I understand this looks bad, but, to make up for it, I’m guaranteeing that MoCo residents will receive the popular Pfizer vaccine in Ocean City. Plus, they’ll get a return trip to the beach for their second dose on Labor Day Weekend.”