BALTIMORE, MD – The Maryland Department of Health today announced the beginning of Phase 1C of Maryland’s podcast distribution plan. The expansion of eligibility will allow the state to add 10,000 new podcasts per day, though that remains well below full demand.
“Expanding podcast eligibility will help us accelerate the process of getting more Marylanders’ opinions on the air, no matter how boring or basic they are,” said Acting MDH Secretary Dennis R. Schrader. “By opening Phase 1C, we‘ll dramatically expand new content so that you can finally make that Solo Stove firepit enthusiast show you’ve been dreaming about.”
Phase 1C includes government conspiracy theorists, open mic comedians with stage fright, and nerds with strong opinions about episodes 7-9 of the Star Wars franchise. Due to the limited availability of podcast equipment, all of the many Marylanders intending to become “Joe Rogan, except liberal” will be deferred to Phase 2B.
Maryland is also working hard to upgrade the state’s internet infrastructure to handle the addition of millions more podcasts. Until broadband capacity can be sufficiently expanded, all new episodes in the “comedians interviewing other comedians” genre will be strictly limited to two hours.
“We are building a robust, scalable network of podcast distribution points across the state,” said Schrader. “It’s an expensive undertaking, but it’s being supported by our great sponsor, Casper Mattresses. So remember: when you have COVID and just want a good night’s sleep, Casper is here for you.”
In light of the deluge of awful programming that hit Apple Podcasts after the start of Phase 1B, including “You Put Old Bay on What?!” and “Hauling Up to Hagerstown,” the state is also partnering with CVS and Walgreens to educate consumers on podcast production. For more information on podcast eligibility and the new state podcast support services, Marylanders can tune into “What Podcast Will You Have, Hon?”, which is available at listen.maryland.gov.