Takoma Park Residents Abandon Protest of New Apartments After Realizing They’re Way Over on New Hampshire Avenue

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Long time residents of Takoma Park were prepared to protest the development of a brand new multi-family apartment building in the city until they learned it was planned for New Hampshire Avenue on the other side of town, a safe distance from their million dollar single-family houses.

“When I first heard that renters might be coming, I immediately pulled out my copy of ‘Restrictive Land Use Policies to Reinforce Existing Racial and Class Structures for Dummies’,” said Spooner Goldstein. “Boy was I relieved to learn that it would be built in another city. New Hampshire Avenue is technically in another city, isn’t it?”

The proposed project has received a state grant of $500,000 to renovate and expand a blighted commercial building into a mixed-use facility with apartments over ground floor retail space. It’s planned height of three stories will be a huge feat of structural engineering and aeronautic advancement for the city.

While most residents applauded the coming development, some felt a sense of loss. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad the city is listening to us and building multi-family housing in places we try to avoid at all costs,” said Stefanie Avalon who still uses an AOL email account. “But I’m a little bummed that our 40-year streak of successfully blocking new apartment buildings in Takoma Park has come to an end.”

Even though the project has largely avoided controversies that plagued its predecessors, it remains to be seen when construction will actually begin. Developers are already preparing environmental analyses, parking calculations, and a TPSS Co-Op impact study in an effort to hopefully break ground by Fall of 2036.