Nation Unprepared for Impending Casual Friday Crisis

After days of working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic, the nation faces yet another threat: what to wear on Casual Friday.

#CasualtyFriday is now trending on Twitter as millions worry about how to dress in a way that could possibly be considered even more casual than what they have been wearing all week.

“We have no idea what Friday holds in store for America,” worried economist Steven Kleine. “We might be facing a crisis of people teleconferencing in their underwear. Or perhaps some, God forbid, without any clothes at all. We are only a couple sniff tests of previously worn sweatpants away from complete chaos.”

The teleconferencing economy, which now makes up 75% of the United States GDP, could be hit hard Friday as people working from home postpone meetings until Monday, likely leading to deeper declines for stock markets worldwide.

Congress is already working on a bill to avoid catastrophe. Republicans have proposed eliminating Casual Friday altogether until conditions return to normal. Democrats, on the other hand, led by Elizabeth Warren, have proposed a bold multi-point plan to reverse the end of the work week tradition into a more formal day requiring proper work attire.

“What’s great about our plan is that, if you like wearing your bra, you can keep doing so. If you don’t have one, we’ll make sure you have access to resources to get a good one,” said Warren. “This plan will save us from the brink of chaos, but it will require all Americans to step up and, for the good of their families and friends, finally do their laundry.”