Between April 1 and April 7, shoppers in Maryland will pay 12% sales tax – double the state’s 6% tax rate – on eligible purchases, with the money going directly to former Montgomery County Public Schools Superintendent Monifa McKnight to pay for her $1.3 million separation agreement.
“We should have just fired her for cause and not owed her any money, but knowing our reputation for completely screwing up the most basic issues, we figured it would be easier to cave in now and save us from a lengthy, drawn-out court battle,” read a statement from current members of the MCPS Board of Education. “Besides, Marylanders love paying more taxes anyway.”
Maryland lists certain clothing and footwear purchases as part of the double-tax week. Here are some of the items that will be taxed at 12% during the week:
– Shoes and boots
– Belts
– Sweaters and shirts
– Jeans and slacks
– New suits for job hunting within the school system
– Hoodies and sunglasses to shield your face from the public shame of getting a $1.3 million buyout after destroying the trust in the school system in just 2 years on the job.
– Attorney’s fees
Shoppers may be surprised to discover that unlike its tax-free holiday week in August, Maryland includes school supplies during double tax week. And, if you’re a teacher, you’ll pay triple the sales tax on school supplies all year long because fuck you, that’s why.