WHEATON, MD – Facing increasing resistance to changes in the county’s land use policies that would allow construction of dense, affordable housing, the Montgomery County planning commission (M-NCPPC) amended the name of a proposed bill to include the words “pumpkin spice” in order to attract more supporters from wealthy neighborhoods.
“The county is finally listening to the needs of wealthy suburban residents with 250 to 500 Instagram followers,” said Madeline McAdams of Chevy Chase. “While I remain nervous about the potential increase in traffic while I’m on my way for my morning organic latte, I’m now leaning towards supporting this amendment.”
The renamed Pumpkin Spice Lot Density Amendment will create new PSL-60 zoned lots that would allow the construction of mixed-use buildings with as many as 12 floors of residential apartments over street level retail shops, including yoga studios, blanket scarf boutiques and UGG boot stores.
“At first we were skeptical of the county inviting in all these people who could change the culture of my neighborhood,” said Ashley Jane Camden of Takoma Park while organizing a neighborhood Hallmark movie night. “But now we’re really looking forward to making new friends who’ll join me for brunch before going apple picking.”
M-NCPPC anticipates the county council will unanimously approve the Pumpkin Spice Lot Density Amendment and is already working on a second proposal to create the “Live, Laugh, Love District” as part of the Takoma Park Minor Master Plan. Within the bounds of the new district, residents can construct detached accessory apartments on their property as long as the interiors walls are shiplap panels and address numbers are in Etsy-style scripted fonts.