Marcel Rich Responds to the Takoma Torch 2022 MoCo Candidate Questionnaire

Marcel Rich is a write-in candidate for Montgomery County Executive.

From his website (www.notmarcelrich.org):
“Do you have an experience with Marcel Rich that voters need to know about? Should Marcel Rich have a second chance?”

Below are his answers to our important questions:

1. If the MoCo government was a dictatorship, what’s the first thing you would do as its unquestioned supreme leader?
   Build a giant statue of that extremely handsome guy that is currently the County Executive, who is definitely not me.
2. Which superhero would you hire to run MCPS and why?
   Is there a superhero that clones things? Because I’d have them make more of me to run all of the government agencies.
3. Mosquitos or cicadas?
   Ticks. 
4. If Elon Musk offered 44 billion dollars to buy Montgomery County, how would you respond?
   Simple. Order an immediate study of potential options for business locations, deploy inspectors to create some new codes, and eventually lose the bid to Northern Virginia.
5. Which Golden Girl are you and why?
   I’d like to think of myself as Blanche, but that was before she allowed three roommates to live in her single-family zoned neighborhood.
6. If you had to send a mixtape to your opponent(s), what songs would it include?
   Probably just the sounds from my favorite white noise machine, a.k.a. wealthy NIMBYs protesting development.
7. Who would you Kiss/Marry/Kill between Bethesda, Silver Spring, and Gaithersburg?
   I’d kiss Prince George’s County where I prefer to send affordable housing, marry Frederick where I prefer to send jobs, and then kill Montgomery County – If I can’t have her, nobody will.
8. You’re watching a baseball game and the umpire blows a call that ruins the game for your team. Tear him a new one in 6 words or less.
   “Wanna work for my administration?”
9. On a scale of 1 to 10, how nervous are you that this survey will be posted all over social media?
   How nervous are you that I might win reelection?
10. If you had to earn a very important endorsement with a cheesy pick-up line, what would yours be?
    Hey baby, are you affordable housing? Because I have the sudden urge to screw you.