John Zittrauer Responds to the Takoma Torch 2022 MoCo Candidate Questionnaire

John Zittrauer is a candidate for Montgomery County Council District 4.

From his website (www.friendsofjohnzittrauer):
“John Zittrauer has been a Montgomery County resident for over a decade, and a renter for almost all of that time. He has seen the cost of living go up in our area, with our least fortunate residents hit the hardest and in many cases priced out of the place they have called home. John will bring a real preference for the poor to local politics, and any decision made by the council will begin by looking at how it will impact our most vulnerable.”

Below are his answers to our important questions:

  1. If the MoCo government was a dictatorship, what’s the first thing you would do as its unquestioned supreme leader?
    All housing is now public housing
  2. Which superhero would you hire to run MCPS and why?
    Tony Starks’ superpower is money, so he gets my pick. Also the STEM program would be awesome. 
  3. Mosquitos or cicadas?
    Cicadas don’t try to eat me and they go away
  4. If Elon Musk offered 44 billion dollars to buy Montgomery County, how would you respond?
    Kick rocks, nerd
  5. Which Golden Girl are you and why?
    Optimism of Rose, sass of Dorothy
  6. If you had to send a mixtape to your opponent(s), what songs would it include?
    I have no opponents but everyone should listen to more Bad Religion, specifically “Operation Rescue” and “American Jesus”
  7. Who would you Kiss/Marry/Kill between Bethesda, Silver Spring, and Gaithersburg?
  8. You’re watching a baseball game and the umpire blows a call that ruins the game for your team. Tear him a new one in 6 words or less.
    “You should work for Robin Ficker”
  9. On a scale of 1 to 10, how nervous are you that this survey will be posted all over social media?
    1, I passed on the one that would get me in trouble
  10. If you had to earn a very important endorsement with a cheesy pick-up line, what would yours be?
    What’s a nice organization like you doing in a place like this, the greatest county in the history of civilization?

We are flattered, John.