Residents Celebrate End of Gas Shortage to Avoid Having to Participate in ‘Bike to Work Week’

TAKOMA PARK, MD – May 17-23 is Bike to Work Week, which means Takoma Park residents are thrilled the recent gas shortage is coming to an end so they can avoid the hassle of participating in an environmentally-friendly way to get to work.

“After seeing so many people riding bikes last week, we thought everyone was really motivated to join the biking movement,” said Jessie Parkman. “But then we realized that people were only riding their bikes around the neighborhood because they were looking for gas.”

With gasoline scarce due to last week’s cyber attack against the Colonial Pipeline, Takoma Park residents have been desperately searching for places to find fuel. The few motorists fortunate enough to find a station with gas available have been filling up their cars, but also cannisters, barrels, and even plastic shopping bags due to the fear that even a full tank of gas won’t be enough to sit idling for a complete light cycle at the Junction intersection.

Those who were seen engaging in gasoline hoarding defended their behavior. “Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe that everyone should stop driving cars,” said Connor Graham. “But I worked really hard to buy a house with a nice garage and big driveway. Should I just let it go to waste for four days while I give the supply chain enough time to recover from an unprecedented but temporary disruption? I don’t think so.”

While Takoma Park is full of environmentalists who advocate for the elimination of fossil fuels, not everyone is celebrating the gas shortage. Residents who prefer to drive are hoping that this crisis won’t be used by bike safety advocates to create more space for cyclists and pedestrians while making driving and parking more difficult.

“The last thing we need is increased support for adding new bike lanes on Maple Avenue because of this gas shortage,” said Cathy Looney. “If people are so worried about the rising cost of gas, I don’t understand why they don’t just buy a $100,000 Tesla like I did.”