City Announces Removal of “Clocktopus,” Declares Offensive

It appeared one sunny day; a giant, colorful, 17-foot, crocheted octopus draped over the downtown Takoma Park clock tower by local artist, Stacy Cantrell. What once brought joy, laughter, and perhaps many eye rolls to the central business district, now finds itself at the center of controversy.

After a short time on display, Clocktopus, as he is commonly referred to, has been given notice by the City to vacate the premises.

“It’s just so sad,” cried Rita Goodman. “Clocktopus just brought a sense of quirkiness that we all admire about our city. I really worry we are losing our soul and turning into Bethesda.”

View of Clocktopus on Laurel Avenue

Even though many residents didn’t seem to mind Clocktopus hanging around, many found him to be offensive. “This Octopus shouldn’t be on public grounds,” exclaimed Betty Adams. “If we are going to allow an octopus to be here, then we need to have ALL animals represented equally!”

Other residents found fault with the color scheme of Clocktopus, claiming that the spectrum was exclusive of certain colors thus acting as a symbol of prejudice. Clocktopus is orange, yellow , green, and blue, which leaves out Red, Pink, Violet, Purple, Brown, Gray, Black, Aqua, Ochre, Fuchsia, Cerulean, Chartreuse, Cyan, and Magenta.

Many parents were concerned about the message this was sending to kids. “You know, when you actually think about it, this octopus represents a lot more than just a stuffed animal,” stated Gary Felder. “Look at his eyes – he’s clearly high as a kite. And he’s just loafing around on a clock, which is an obvious message that he is wasting time while high on the reefer.”

Surprisingly, the City’s lone Republican was also eager to kick Clocktopus out. “I normally hate the government telling us what to do, but in this case, I agree completely,” exclaimed Kyle Smith. “Look at that lazy, good-fer-nuthin’ bum…Get a job!”

Main Street Takoma is currently looking for a home for Clocktopus. They posted a competition this week on their page on Facebook, asking residents and employees in the city to write a personal story on what they would do with Clocktopus. The winner would have to support Clocktopus and potentially give him a new name – and a much needed bath.

The deadline for submissions is March 25, and the online application form is here:
City of Takoma Park, MD – Municipal Government