Parody – The Takoma Torch

Marc Elrich Demands $90 Million Rent Control Parade

MoCo Politicians Support North Bethesda Marriott Conference Center Boycott Just to Stop Eating Fucking Chicken for Lunch

Trump Orders Military into Second Act of ‘Les Miserables’ at Kennedy Center

Rock Creek on Full Lockdown After Huge Turd Spotted Floating in It

MoCo Residents Outraged Papal Selection Didn’t Allow Opportunity for Public Input

Takoma Park Balances Budget By Heavily Taxing Children’s Business Fair

Local Activists Unveil Ambitious Plan to Replace All Sod Lawns With Moral High Ground

Takoma Park Invests $300 Billion on Time Machine to Undo $15 Million Library Renovation

White Smoke Visible Over MoCo Democratic Central Committee Signals Filled Vacancy of Next Pope

Americans Approve Trump Spending Rest of Term Golfing

Takoma Park Joins ‘Hands-Off’ Protest, Mistakenly Thinks It’s About Parking Lots

Pete Hegseth Bests Cory Booker by Drinking for 48 Hours Straight

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