Dogwalkers Relieved as Fall Foliage Makes Picking Up Shit Entirely Optional

TAKOMA PARK, MD – As autumn leaves begin blanketing sidewalks, lawns and neighborhood parks, local dogwalkers are celebrating what experts are calling the most wonderful time of the year: shit camouflage season.

“Honestly, it’s one of the main reasons I love fall,” said local dog owner Brenda Whitmore, 54, with a green plastic baggie around her right hand while watching her golden retriever deposit a steaming pile beneath a maple tree. “Nature has provided me a way to hide the fact that I just faked picking up my dog’s poop.”

The seasonal phenomenon has reportedly sparked a surge in what residents have affectionately dubbed the “shit-and-run”, as dogwalkers take advantage of the foliage to abandon their cleanup responsibilities.

“I think people need to understand that we’re all part of an ecosystem,” said another dog owner. “The trees drop leaves, the dogs drop turds, and eventually it all becomes somebody else’s problem.”

City officials have expressed concern that the growing accumulation of canine waste could create problems once the leaves are collected. Public Works Director Daryl Braithwaite warned that the city’s annual leaf collection program could turn the municipal leaf mulch pile into something of a public health hazard.

“People think it’s the leaves that smell,” Braithwaite said. “It’s not the leaves.”