If you’ve ever struggled to understand a sentence written in English, Maryland has good news: Question 3 on the November ballot is an opportunity to prove that you are exactly as stupid as everyone suspected.
The good news is that the question has been reviewed by lawyers, legislators, judges – and even Barack Obama – all of whom presumably understand it. It’s not their job to educate you. That’s what your high school english teacher was supposed to do. Blame them.
For those who haven’t yet experienced the pleasure of reading it, here is the full text of Question 3, exactly as it appears on the ballot:
“Question 3 — Constitutional Amendment
Electoral Districts – General Assembly and Congressional Representatives
FOR the purpose of clarifying that certain requirements apply only to districts for the election of members of the Senate of Maryland and the House of Delegates; authorizing the General Assembly to grant original jurisdiction to the Supreme Court of Maryland to review the congressional districting plan of the State; and providing that nothing in the Maryland Constitution provides applicable criteria for the boundaries of a congressional districting plan.”
Confusing? Come on. It’s really not that hard.
To understand Question 3, first understand that a district is not necessarily a district in the sense that a district might be a district, unless that district is a district to which the applicable districting requirements apply.
If that makes sense, you’ve misunderstood it.
A “yes” vote means you support the constitutional clarification that certain requirements apply to certain districts but not to other districts, while permitting certain authorities to exercise certain jurisdiction over certain plans concerning districts that may or may not be subject to certain requirements.
A “no” vote means you oppose the constitutional clarification of the requirements concerning the districts, the jurisdiction concerning the plans, or both, depending on whether you understand the distinction between a district and a congressional district.
For those keeping score at home, congressional districts are different from legislative districts, except when they’re being discussed together in a sentence designed to make you forget what either one is.
If you’re still uncertain how to vote, try reading the question aloud three times. If you reach the words “original jurisdiction” without googling it, congratulations! You may proceed to the ballot box.
If not, simply remember that Question 3 is about districts, except where it isn’t, and that the Constitution will continue to apply to everything it applies to, unless this amendment clarifies that it doesn’t.
Maryland officials remind voters that democracy works best when citizens make informed decisions. They also remind voters that, in the case of Question 3, ignorance is no excuse for not understanding something lawyers can barely understand.
If you still don’t understand Question 3 after reading this explanation, you may be beyond help. You are the reason shampoo bottles have instructions, microwave meals have pictures, and highway signs use arrows instead of paragraphs. You probably need assistance opening a push door. Democracy was built on the assumption that voters could read a sentence and understand what it means, and yet here you are, defeated by 47 words and a semicolon. At this point, the state recommends that you put down your ballot, find a responsible adult, and ask them to explain what voting is.
Discover more from The Takoma Torch
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
