Montgomery County Bans ‘Roku City’ For Being Too Dense

ROCKVILLE, MD – In a unanimous emergency vote Tuesday, the Montgomery County Council officially banned the “Roku City” screensaver after determining its depiction of dense, mixed-use buildings in a walkable neighborhood posed an unreasonable threat to neighborhood character and living rooms throughout the county.

“At first we thought it was just another European city,” said one planning official. “Then someone counted the stories and realized those buildings were four floors tall. We immediately shut off the television before any residents got ideas.”

The County Attorney issued a cease-and-desist letter to Roku demanding the streaming giant replace the offending imagery with “something more appropriate for Montgomery County values,” such as a large single family surrounded by three acres of lawn and grocery stores with surface parking lot.

County Executive Marc Elrich praised the ban, warning that exposure to moderate-density development could permanently alter residents’ expectations.

“Families are just trying to enjoy a quiet movie night,” said Elrich, pointing to the screensaver’s hidden Easter eggs as proof that density inevitably attracts trouble. “First come the mixed-use buildings. Then the UFOs show up, followed by giant robots and Godzilla stomping through downtown. It’s the  slippery slope I’ve been warning about for years.”

The county also cited concerns that the fictional streetscape contained people walking comfortably between destinations, creating what officials described as an unrealistic portrayal of transportation.

Residents agreed the imagery crossed a line.

“I support smart growth,” said Takoma Park resident Todd Giuliano, “but this Roku screensaver is reckless. Those buildings were more than two stories, and I counted what looked like two businesses on the same block. That’s the kind of density that can completely ruin a family movie night. One minute you’re watching Stranger Things, the next your kids are asking why apartments can exist above a bakery.”

At press time, county officials had declared the only allowable screensaver in Montgomery County is the default Windows XP desktop background of a grass field depicting vast stretches of undeveloped land.