MoCo Makes History By Appointing First Ever Dead Historic Preservation Commissioner

WHEATON, MD – The Montgomery County Council took a visionary leap toward modernizing bureaucracy by confirming the appointment of its first-ever dead resident to the Historic Preservation Commission (HPC), citing his deep, permanent commitment to the past.

The new commissioner, Harold P. Wexley (1879–1954), was unanimously approved after the Council determined he possessed “the perfect temperament for a process that absolutely never moves,” and a “profound, unshakable dedication to the years gone by.”

“Frankly, Harold aligns with our mission better than any living applicant,” said HPC Chair Maude DeNile “He doesn’t give long-winded speeches at hearings, he won’t take up any of our limited staff parking spaces, and any changes to the neighborhood will be approved ‘over his dead body'”.

During the swearing-in ceremony – conducted at his gravesite for convenience – Wexley remained silent, which HPC staff described as “refreshingly on-brand for a commissioner sitting through hours of public testimony.”

County Executive Marc Elrich praised the appointment as a triumph of local democracy, noting that the Commission has at long last found someone who can outwait even Montgomery County’s own process.

“He’s the ideal candidate: patient, predictable, and slow-moving,” said Elrich. “Plus, neighbors feel comforted knowing there’s finally a commissioner who can literally turn over in his grave when someone proposes a new building.”

Despite skepticism from residents, DeNile says the county is confident in its decision. “Because at the end of the day,” she said, “we finally have a commissioner who embodies our mission: change should die a slow death, and if you try to build something new, he will absolutely haunt you.”