Marc Elrich Demands $90 Million Rent Control Parade

TAKOMA PARK, MD — Montgomery County Executive Marc Elrich has proposed a $90 million Rent Control Parade to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his only major legislative achievement: the countywide rent stabilization law.

Set for July 23, 2025, the event will march triumphantly through the streets of Takoma Park – Elrich’s hometown and the sacred birthplace of rent stabilization in Montgomery County.

“Montgomery County has finally declared its independence from landlords occupying our land with market rate housing,” said Elrich dressed as a late-1700’s general complete with powdered wig. “And it’s time we celebrate how powerful this government can be when we unleash our full barrage of excess paperwork and red tape upon our oppressors to send them back to where they came from!”

Much like Donald Trump’s infamous military parade, Elrich says his parade will showcase the true power of county government, but featuring only a single tank – to roll over a luxury Accessory Dwelling Unit, symbolizing Elrich’s threat to destroy any rental property that isn’t capped at a 3-6% rate increase.

While many tenants agree that rent stabilization should be celebrated, some question the cost. “I don’t know why people are saying that we can’t afford this parade,” said Elrich about the $90 million price tag. “Did they not see their latest home value assessment?”

The parade will consist of 120 Department of Housing and Community Affairs employees,  the Woodside Park Civic Association marching band, a float displaying a landlord dunk tank, a cannon that fires “Tenants’ Rights” t-shirts into the crowd, and a stage where every current and former member of the planning board is forced to watch the parade on an asphalt surface parking lot without any shade.

When asked if the rent control parade resembled Trump’s egotistical military parade, Elrich shot back. “Trump’s parade celebrates himself, a man who dodged war due to bones spurs,” Elrich noted. “My parade celebrates good housing policy, namely the preserving of parking lots so I don’t have to walk very far. It’s totally different.”