WHITE HOUSE MASTER BATHROOM TOILET, DC – President Trump threatened to shut down Twitter today for adding a fact check to several of his tweets, leading to #BoycottTwitter becoming the top trending hashtag on the social media platform.
“I am the leader of the FREE world and nobody will stop my FREE speech. If Twitter continues to censor me, I have the Total Authority to take them down!! #BoycottTwitter!!” tweeted Trump, after which a bot immediately flagged his post as misleading because the President does not, in fact, have the ability to take down Twitter, nor does he have “total authority.”
The President’s latest move is seen as yet another front in his ongoing battle against media corporations, who are considered “enemies” by Trump and his supporters. By encouraging his followers to boycott Twitter, Trump is hoping to free them from being brainwashed into believing lies and conspiracy theories, except for those originating from the President himself.
“MY President never lies!” exclaimed Daryl Wyatt. “If he says that Hillary’s emails secretly opened Obama’s gate, which caused the Chinese virus hoax to kill Carole Baskin’s husband with a vote-by-mail ballot, then it is 100% true. Y’all just fear the TRUTH because Bill Gates created 5G to make you believe in fairy tales like evolution and Greenland.”
Surprisingly, Democrats had no problem with Trump’s threats to shut down Twitter. In fact, they seemed to be encouraging the boycott by proposing a bill to shut down the site until there is significant progress in reducing the prevalence of lies and hate speech on the site, something they claim can be done by early November 2020.