WASHINGTON, DC – The Washington Nationals filed a formal complaint with MLB this week accusing the Houston Astros of deliberately throwing Games 6 and 7 to force the Nationals to visit the White House, where they would have to dine on fast food with President Trump.
The Nationals claim they were on track to lose when the Astros pulled pitcher Zack Greinke in the midst of a dominant performance, replacing him with relievers who specialize in blowing big games.
President Trump made a special visit to Nationals stadium for Game 5, which he hailed as “the biggest crowd to watch me at a baseball game.” After boos and chants of “Lock him up!”, the Astros were reminded of what was at stake and purposely lost both games at home, according to the complaint.
“They knew they could easily win at home and take the Series, which is what they absolutely didn’t want to do,” stated Nationals Manager Dave Martinez. “Some of our players overheard their guys in the dugout comparing their Texas BBQ to Burger King’s Western Whopper. We knew something was up.”
The Astros organization vehemently denied foul play and reminded reporters of the fact that they already won the World Series in Trump’s first year as president.
“Don’t forget about 2017,” warned Astros General Manager Jeff Luhnow. “We certainly never will.”
Also mentioned in the complaint is an alternative theory by the Nationals as to why the Astros lost on purpose:
“Its a known fact that everyone hates Ted Cruz. Seeing him in an Astros jersey at the game clearly caused the team to lose on purpose just to spite him.”