As the calendar flips to 2025, Takoma Park residents prepare to ditch their 2024 trends like they’re from Ward 6. What’s in? What’s out? What’s somewhere in between but still requires a city council meeting to decide? Fear not, dear reader—we’ve curated the ultimate Takoma Park “In/Out” list for the year ahead.
2024 was the year of canceling newspaper subscriptions, debating the ethical implications of leaving Twitter, and perfecting your Olympic Australian breakdancing routine. But 2025 promises to usher in a whole new era of highly specific trends that only Takoma Park could dream up. Whether it’s selling your backyard chicken eggs for a massive profit or swapping yard signs for digital holograms that shame your neighbors’ political inaction, this year is sure to keep us guessing.
So grab your artisanal hemp notebook, jot down what’s “in,” and promptly judge anyone still clinging to what’s “out.” Welcome to 2025, Takoma Park—where the trends are hyper-local, self-righteous, and always the center of attention. Happy New Year!!
| OUT | IN |
| Gas-Powered Leaf Blowers | Amplified Street Preachers |
| Building Libraries | Banning Books |
| $18 Burritos | $19 Burritos |
| Canceling Washington Post Subscriptions | Buying More Crap on Amazon |
| COVID | Polio |
| Purple Line 2027 | Purple Line 2028 |
| Ivy League Education | PhD in Online Researching |
| Hawk Tuah | Raw Dogging |
| Tea Party | CVT Party |
| Missing Middle Housing | Missing Middle Fingers |
| Building Walls | Gatekeeping |
| Tweets | Skeets |
| Blocking Highways Through City | Blocking Bike Lanes Through City |
| Daylight Savings Time | The Dark Ages |
| President Trump | President Elon |
| Tip Screens for Baristas | Tip Screens for Muralists |
| Vibes | Bribes |
| Cyber Trucks | “I Hate Elon” Bumper Stickers on Teslas |
| Brain Worms | MAGAts |
| Public Enemy Christopher Columbus | Public Hero Luigi Mangione |
| MCPS Color Code System | Marc Elrich Political Gripes on Emergency Text Alert System |
| Buy Nothing Groups | Build Nothing Groups |
| Shitting on Amazon | Shitting on Small Bookstore Owners |
| DEI | DUI |
| Fighting on Social Media | Filing Criminal Charges |
| Isreali-Palestinian Conflict | PEN Listserv |
| RFK Jr. | RFK Stadium |
| “Wet Dreams” Mansion Parties | Drinking Alone in a Rent Controlled Apartment |
| Bidenomics | Trump Pump and Dump |
| Overcrowded Schools | Vacant Hospital Lots |
| Killing Spotted Lanternflies | Getting Angry at a Bee Mascot |
| Free-Range Chickens | Runaway Parade Horses |
| Larry Hogan Pretending to be a Democrat | Larry Hogan Pretending to be MAGA |
| Florida Man | Takoma Man |
| Housing Shortage | Guinness Shortage |
| Brat Summer | Bro Winter |
| Cryptocurrency | Eggs |
| K Street Lobbyists | Maple Avenue Petitioners |
| Minor Master Plans | Squid Games |
| 32 Votes | Term Limits |
Discover more from The Takoma Torch
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
