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Author: The Takoma Torch

Little League Player Ejected For Not Wearing Enough Pieces of Flair

County Officials to Spend $15 Million on Community Engagement For $50k Playground

Takoma Torch to Lecture Harvard Law on Handling Frivolous Lawsuits From Shitheads

‘Parker’ the Parking Lot Robot Decommissioned by County, Immediately Leased by Takoma Park to Patrol Co-op Lot

Nice Neighborhood Just One Public Works Fuck-Up From Turning Into Crime-Ridden Shithole

Firefighters Deny Retaliation After Soaking Baseball Field, Claim They Were Just Throwing ‘Wet Dreams’ Party for Team

Local Shady Contractor Denies Ever Being on Angie’s List

Top Amazon Prime Day Deals Takoma Park Residents Won’t Want to Miss

Naive Poor Person Actually Believes Country Cares About Them

Proposed 30-Story High Rise in Silver Spring Totally Out of Scale With Surrounding 20+ Story High Rises

Marc Elrich Demands $90 Million Rent Control Parade

MoCo Politicians Support North Bethesda Marriott Conference Center Boycott Just to Stop Eating Fucking Chicken for Lunch

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Denchfield, LLC – General Contractor Serving MD VA DC since 1985

All written material on this site is the intellectual property of the Takoma Torch, and is only intended for people with a sense of humor. If you would like to submit a funny headline, please email it to takomatorch@gmail.com. If you have any complaints, please email dcra@dc.gov