{"id":477,"date":"2019-11-27T18:00:56","date_gmt":"2019-11-27T23:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2019\/11\/27\/12-things-to-say-to-liven-up-your-thanksgiving-meal\/"},"modified":"2020-01-18T15:03:50","modified_gmt":"2020-01-18T20:03:50","slug":"12-things-to-say-to-liven-up-your-thanksgiving-meal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2019\/11\/27\/12-things-to-say-to-liven-up-your-thanksgiving-meal\/","title":{"rendered":"12 Things to Say to Liven Up Your Thanksgiving Meal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Let’s face it, Thanksgiving can be quite dull. We all love spending time with friends and family, but some relationships need a stress test to determine if they will last. Here are 10 things to say that will ensure a lively discussion at your Thanksgiving meal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Brag about your latest fad diet and remind everyone that reaching for the stuffing is why they’re more likely to die from colon cancer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Remind everyone of the time when cousin Jeff got arrested for trying to hire a prostitute. Watch Jeff’s face get red as you spill every embarrassing detail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Ask your parents what time they’re planning to leave as soon as they sit down. Then periodically remind them what time it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Mention that you still can’t figure out the difference between Trump and Hillary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Sigh extra loud when it comes to saying grace. Pull out your pocket constitution and remind everyone this is a secular nation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Complain about the lack of vegan and gluten-free options at the table. Insist that Tofurkey tastes better than real turkey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Designate people to do the dishes. Remind everyone you brought the canned cranberry sauce, so you already did your part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Brag about how much money you made this year, or how your stock portfolio went up by double-digit percentages. Then offer unsolicited investment advice to your broke cousins. They’ll appreciate it someday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Offer your opinion on all thirty six Democratic primary candidates. Explain how it’s all rigged against Bernie anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Tell Grandma “OK, Boomer” when she repeatedly asks you to turn off your phone at the dinner table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Remind your brother that he still owes you $2,000 for that time when he couldn’t make rent. Mention that you are being kind by not charging him interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Make a big deal about Thanksgiving actually being a racist holiday while wearing your Redskins sweatshirt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let’s face it, Thanksgiving can be quite dull. We all love spending time with friends and family, but some relationships need a stress test to determine if they will last. Here are 10 things to say that will ensure a lively discussion at your Thanksgiving meal. 1. Brag about your latest fad diet and remind…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":476,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","wpcat-15-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/20191127_1759141721027000162468525.jpg?fit=759%2C387&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-7H","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=477"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":478,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477\/revisions\/478"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=477"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=477"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}