{"id":3608,"date":"2026-04-06T18:01:54","date_gmt":"2026-04-06T22:01:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=3608"},"modified":"2026-04-06T18:01:55","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T22:01:55","slug":"announcing-the-winners-of-the-2026-takoma-torch-satire-writing-contest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2026\/04\/06\/announcing-the-winners-of-the-2026-takoma-torch-satire-writing-contest\/","title":{"rendered":"Announcing the Winners of the 2026 Takoma Torch Satire Writing Contest"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In Takoma Park, everyone is a winner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But Montgomery Blair High School is not in Takoma Park. Sorry, rules are rules.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The winners of 2026 Takoma Torch Satire Writing Contest are as follows:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1st Place – $300 – (with 30% of the vote): \u201cNew MCPS Policy Regarding Graphite-Based Writing Implements\u201d By Zoe Gorbachev<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2nd Place – $150 – (with 27.7% of the vote): “No More New Neighbors\u201d By Daneel Kutsenko<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3rd Place – $50 – (with 21.5% of the vote): \u201cSligo Creek To Be Filled With Beer For St. Patrick\u2019s Day\u201d by Colm Konyndyk<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Congrats to the winners and a huge job well done by all participants!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In Takoma Park, everyone is a winner. But Montgomery Blair High School is not in Takoma Park. Sorry, rules are rules. The winners of 2026 Takoma Torch Satire Writing Contest are as follows: 1st Place – $300 – (with 30% of the vote): \u201cNew MCPS Policy Regarding Graphite-Based Writing Implements\u201d By Zoe Gorbachev 2nd Place…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3609,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[2238,24,979,640,638,2234,98,93,2236,111,2235,4,2,104,164],"class_list":["post-3608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editorial","tag-contest","tag-dc-satire","tag-google-news","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco-satire","tag-montgomery-blair","tag-political-satire","tag-satire","tag-satire-contest","tag-satirical-news","tag-silver-chips","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","wpcat-20-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/IMG_1508.jpeg?fit=1640%2C924&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-Wc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3608"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3610,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608\/revisions\/3610"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}