{"id":3409,"date":"2025-09-30T18:39:39","date_gmt":"2025-09-30T22:39:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=3409"},"modified":"2025-09-30T18:39:40","modified_gmt":"2025-09-30T22:39:40","slug":"takoma-man-celebrates-easy-parking-at-metro-station-due-to-government-shutdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2025\/09\/30\/takoma-man-celebrates-easy-parking-at-metro-station-due-to-government-shutdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Takoma Man Celebrates Easy Parking at Metro Station Due to Government Shutdown"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

TAKOMA PARK, MD \u2014 While most Americans brace for the chaos of a government shutdown, one Takoma Park resident admits he\u2019s \u201ckind of OK with it\u201d if it means he can finally park at the Takoma Metro lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon’t get me wrong, the shutdown is a tragedy for working families, democracy, and the planet,\u201d said long-time resident and retired environmental lawyer Greg Wallace, proudly gesturing to the front-row spot his Prius now occupies. \u201cBut I’m really looking forward to rolling into the Takoma Station lot at 9:45 tomorrow morning with plenty of time to grab a fair-trade latte before catching the train to my weekly protest downtown.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WMATA confirmed ridership has plummeted since the shutdown began, creating a parking surplus unseen since “Snowmageddon” 2010. \u201cYes, we\u2019re losing millions in revenue,\u201d said Metro spokesperson Ted Harrison, \u201cBut on the bright side, it has given Takoma Park residents an unprecedented chance to experience “parking abundance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wallace insists he sympathizes with furloughed workers. \u201cOf course I feel bad for everyone struggling,\u201d he said while adjusting his Patagonia vest. \u201cBut for me, personally? This is the universe telling me I\u2019ve earned a break.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other residents are also capitalizing on the situation. A local yoga collective plans to host \u201cShutdown & Shavasana\u201d in the Metro lot, while one man says he now drives there daily just to sit in a space and journal about privilege.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worried that low demand for parking could encourage developers to build on other lots, Local muralists are planning to cover every inch of asphalt in Takoma Park in copyrighted work, so they can sue the government if it’s ever destroyed per the Visual Artists Rights Act of 1990 (VARA).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

TAKOMA PARK, MD \u2014 While most Americans brace for the chaos of a government shutdown, one Takoma Park resident admits he\u2019s \u201ckind of OK with it\u201d if it means he can finally park at the Takoma Metro lot. \u201cDon’t get me wrong, the shutdown is a tragedy for working families, democracy, and the planet,\u201d said…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3410,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[114,24,1919,1130,319,370,2104,979,2101,1387,640,1351,638,116,1353,2102,1920,93,1898,2103,4,2100,433,1514,2,718,716,104,164,115],"class_list":["post-3409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","tag-amazon","tag-dc-satire","tag-democrats","tag-dmv-satire","tag-elrich","tag-facebook","tag-free-parking","tag-google-news","tag-government-shutdown","tag-instagram","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco-news","tag-moco-satire","tag-nimby","tag-parking","tag-prius","tag-republicans","tag-satire","tag-shutdown","tag-subaru","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-man","tag-takoma-metro","tag-takoma-metro-parking","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-satire","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","tag-yimby","wpcat-9-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/takoma-metro-parking.jpg?fit=1305%2C824&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-SZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3409"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3411,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3409\/revisions\/3411"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}