{"id":3277,"date":"2025-04-12T18:21:43","date_gmt":"2025-04-12T22:21:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/12\/america-approves-trump-spending-rest-of-term-golfing\/"},"modified":"2025-04-12T19:02:18","modified_gmt":"2025-04-12T23:02:18","slug":"america-approves-trump-spending-rest-of-term-golfing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/12\/america-approves-trump-spending-rest-of-term-golfing\/","title":{"rendered":"Americans Approve Trump Spending Rest of Term Golfing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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WASHINGTON, DC – In a rare moment of bipartisanship, Americans from across the political spectrum have come together to approve of President Trump spending the remainder of his term on a golf course to avoid him fucking everything up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHonestly, it\u2019s better for everyone if he just plays through,\u201d said Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD). \u201cEvery time he tries to do something, we end up with tariffs, an unqualified cabinet member from a podcast, or another rapidly spreading virus. Just let him tee off all day and I’m sure he’ll enjoy the higher approval ratings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Economic leaders joined the chorus after markets plummeted as a result of Trump’s abrupt announcement of across-the-board tariffs. In response, Wall Street executives launched a new ETF tracking the president\u2019s golf schedule, noting that markets are up 12% on days he\u2019s at Mar-a-Lago and hasn\u2019t tweeted by noon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A bill to keep the president on the golf course, nicknamed “Tell Trump This is Greenland” (TTTG), has already garnered a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate, and includes $400 million to fund endless caddies, Diet Coke refills, and a replica Oval Office at Mar-A-Lago. \u201cLet him sign fake bills between holes,\u201d said one staffer. \u201cWe\u2019ll give him a Sharpie and a stack of blank executive order templates. He\u2019ll never notice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While some critics argued the plan is reckless, Democrats have assured the public this is exactly the \u201climited government\u201d Americans wanted when voting for Trump. When asked for comment, Trump threatened tariffs on his 9-iron moments before declaring economic sanctions against Titleist.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WASHINGTON, DC – In a rare moment of bipartisanship, Americans from across the political spectrum have come together to approve of President Trump spending the remainder of his term on a golf course to avoid him fucking everything up. \u201cHonestly, it\u2019s better for everyone if he just plays through,\u201d said Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD). \u201cEvery…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3276,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[114,1808,1910,1958,1868,516,95,482,1009,1251,1111,1101,551,24,1919,1855,1962,77,969,970,1130,1857,1888,996,373,1923,995,749,1854,370,140,1899,1897,1954,1900,1668,1572,489,371,368,979,1273,340,141,1877,1387,1905,1699,1789,1807,1593,40,1964,189,993,640,309,638,1733,339,1464,6,94,162,824,93,1859,4,1397,1278,2,1771,719,718,104,1869,1863,1840,153,1867,42,1963,1864,38,615],"class_list":["post-3277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-national-politics","tag-amazon","tag-bluesky","tag-canada-tariffs","tag-cecot","tag-china-tariffs","tag-cnn","tag-comedy","tag-dc","tag-dc-humor","tag-dc-jokes","tag-dc-metro","tag-dc-news","tag-dc-politics","tag-dc-satire","tag-democrats","tag-department-of-justice","tag-deport","tag-disney-plus","tag-dmv","tag-dmv-news","tag-dmv-satire","tag-dod","tag-doge","tag-donald-trump","tag-ebay","tag-egg-shortage","tag-election-2024","tag-elon-musk","tag-executive-branch","tag-facebook","tag-fake-news","tag-fed-workers","tag-federal-government","tag-filibuster","tag-florida-man","tag-fox-news","tag-free-speech","tag-funny","tag-gmail","tag-google","tag-google-news","tag-house-of-representatives","tag-hulu","tag-humor","tag-inflation","tag-instagram","tag-irs","tag-jd-vance","tag-joke","tag-laugh","tag-local-satire","tag-maga","tag-mar-a-lago","tag-maryland","tag-maryland-news","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco","tag-moco-satire","tag-montgomery-county-satire","tag-netflix","tag-new-york-times","tag-news","tag-parody","tag-politics","tag-raskin","tag-satire","tag-supreme-court","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-humor","tag-takoma-news","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-park-humor","tag-takoma-park-news","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-torch","tag-tariff","tag-tariffs","tag-tiktok","tag-tkpk","tag-trade-war","tag-trump","tag-trump-golfing","tag-trump-tariffs","tag-twitter","tag-washington-dc","wpcat-10-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/rdt_20250412_181946462501296873681104591905446443721832.jpg?fit=2000%2C1293&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-QR","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3277"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3279,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3277\/revisions\/3279"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}