{"id":3236,"date":"2025-03-10T11:19:31","date_gmt":"2025-03-10T15:19:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=3236"},"modified":"2025-03-10T11:19:32","modified_gmt":"2025-03-10T15:19:32","slug":"elon-musks-doge-takes-credit-for-trimming-day-of-1-hour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2025\/03\/10\/elon-musks-doge-takes-credit-for-trimming-day-of-1-hour\/","title":{"rendered":"Elon Musk\u2019s DOGE Takes Credit for Trimming Day of 1 Hour"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore\/Flickr<\/sub><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

WASHINGTON, DC – In a bold new effort to maximize efficiency, Elon Musk\u2019s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) announced they had successfully shortened Sunday by one whole hour, citing “advanced proprietary algorithms” that determined 24 hours was “kind of overkill.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt DOGE, we believe in optimizing everything,\u201d Musk said while unveiling the new 23-hour day at a press conference held entirely on X. \u201cOur engineers have discovered that most people are wasting at least an hour a day watching TV or scrolling social media, so why not just eliminate that hour? Who needs that additional wasted hour of sleep anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Musk, DOGE\u2019s team of “time scientists” \u2013 which reportedly includes a mix of SpaceX interns and Twitter moderators \u2013 successfully shifted the Earth\u2019s rotation using what Musk described as “a very cool magnet I invented.” As a result, the planet can spin faster, effectively trimming an hour from each day, an effect Musk quickly dubbed Inverting Daylight Into Optimal Time, or IDIOT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s simple physics,\u201d Musk explained. \u201cIf you spin the earth fast enough while simultaneously taking Ketamine, the day gets shorter. It’s just a scientific fact. Also, IDIOT will save billions in wasted time not working. You’re welcome, taxpayers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reactions to IDIOT have been mixed. White House officials were reportedly “concerned” about the long-term impact of altering the Earth\u2019s rotation but admitted they “know nothing about science” and “aren\u2019t sure how to stop Musk at this point.\u201d Meanwhile, Christian pastors, led by Joel Osteen, were organizing protests after discovering that their shorter Sunday meant fewer time to collect donations to pay for additional private jets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But just as people were starting to adjust, Musk announced that the 23-hour day was \u201cjust a beta program\u201d and that the planet would go back to a 24-hour day tomorrow. \u201cWe\u2019re just testing it out,\u201d Musk said. \u201cTurns out there are a few bugs to work out, including reversing the wasteful additional hour in October that Biden left for us to deal with.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WASHINGTON, DC – In a bold new effort to maximize efficiency, Elon Musk\u2019s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) announced they had successfully shortened Sunday by one whole hour, citing “advanced proprietary algorithms” that determined 24 hours was “kind of overkill.” \u201cAt DOGE, we believe in optimizing everything,\u201d Musk said while unveiling the new 23-hour day…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3237,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[95,1917,1916,1101,24,970,1130,1888,1913,749,140,1897,1668,979,1789,537,1593,993,640,1351,638,1755,1733,1915,1914,1464,6,94,98,93,111,4,1278,2,719,718,716,717,104,164,42,967],"class_list":["post-3236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-science-and-tech","tag-comedy","tag-daylight-savings","tag-daylight-savings-time","tag-dc-news","tag-dc-satire","tag-dmv-news","tag-dmv-satire","tag-doge","tag-elon","tag-elon-musk","tag-fake-news","tag-federal-government","tag-fox-news","tag-google-news","tag-joke","tag-local-news","tag-local-satire","tag-maryland-news","tag-maryland-satire","tag-moco-news","tag-moco-satire","tag-montgomery-county-news","tag-montgomery-county-satire","tag-moso","tag-musk","tag-new-york-times","tag-news","tag-parody","tag-political-satire","tag-satire","tag-satirical-news","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-news","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-park-news","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-satire","tag-takoma-satirical-news","tag-takoma-torch","tag-takomatorch","tag-trump","tag-virginia-satire","wpcat-18-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/takoma-torch-doge-time.jpg?fit=2048%2C1366&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-Qc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3236"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3236\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3238,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3236\/revisions\/3238"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}