{"id":3209,"date":"2025-02-01T17:34:06","date_gmt":"2025-02-01T22:34:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/?p=3209"},"modified":"2025-02-01T17:42:55","modified_gmt":"2025-02-01T22:42:55","slug":"elon-musk-says-federal-employees-can-keep-jobs-if-they-pay-8-month","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/2025\/02\/01\/elon-musk-says-federal-employees-can-keep-jobs-if-they-pay-8-month\/","title":{"rendered":"Elon Musk Says Federal Employees Can Keep Jobs If They Pay $8\/Month"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=1024%2C768&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3210\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=922%2C692&amp;ssl=1 922w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=675%2C506&amp;ssl=1 675w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?resize=360%2C270&amp;ssl=1 360w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?w=1200&amp;ssl=1 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>WASHINGTON, DC &#8211; As Donald Trump and Elon Musk ramp up their plan to gut the federal workforce, Musk has unveiled a compromise: civil servants can keep their jobs if they subscribe to &#8220;Federal Blue,&#8221; a new $8-a-month premium service that grants them access to basic employment benefits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s simple,&#8221; Musk explained in a late-night post on X, formerly Twitter, formerly a functioning company with a viable product. &#8220;If you love your cushy government job so much, just pay the subscription fee! We need to pay the bills somehow, and the federal government cannot rely entirely on collecting taxes.&#8221;&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Musk, now serving as Trump&#8217;s Chief Efficiency Disruptor, a position he created himself, has promised to turn the 250-year-old United States government into a &#8216;lean startup&#8217; by cutting waste, automating everything, and reducing services until every agency functions as poorly as Musk\u2019s own company.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Under the plan, traditional pay grades will be replaced with subscription tiers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Basic ($8\/month) \u2013 You keep your job, but your email will be disabled, and all office chairs will be replaced with folding stools.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Premium ($15\/month) \u2013 You get to keep your email, printer access, and one sick day per year.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ultra-Elite Worker+ ($99\/month) \u2013 You receive actual job security, a working government-issued laptop, and access to a breakroom with snacks (provided you bring them yourself).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Non-Subscribers will be labeled as \u201cDeep State Bots\u201d and inundated with poorly spelled death threats until they give up and go to work for Bluesky instead.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe simply cannot allow millions of government workers to keep their jobs for free and expect taxpayers to just foot the bill,&#8221; Musk said, ignoring the fact that taxpayers already pay for those jobs and have done so ever since the founding of the republic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Musk also announced that top government scientists, economists, and national security experts will be replaced by &#8220;citizen influencers&#8221; &#8211; random people on X who reply to every post with unsourced conspiracy theories that \u201cactually\u201d prove the opposite of all hard evidence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Credentialism is ruining America,&#8221; Musk said. &#8220;Why should we take the advice of some boring lifetime civil servant in the Department of Transportation over a guy named @PatriotDoge420 who makes a lot of good points about how Hitler kept the trains running on time? We&#8217;re leveling the playing field!&#8221;\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The new Federal Blue policy takes effect April 1st &#8211; unless Trump decides to fire everyone before then. In the meantime, Musk is working on his next &#8220;efficiency&#8221; announcement: relocating the entire Department of Justice to Mars.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WASHINGTON, DC &#8211; As Donald Trump and Elon Musk ramp up their plan to gut the federal workforce, Musk has unveiled a compromise: civil servants can keep their jobs if they subscribe to &#8220;Federal Blue,&#8221; a new $8-a-month premium service that grants them access to basic employment benefits. &#8220;It&#8217;s simple,&#8221; Musk explained in a late-night&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3210,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[1605,114,561,1146,1808,1823,516,95,1860,482,1009,1251,1101,551,24,1855,77,969,970,1130,1857,996,465,373,995,749,75,1854,370,140,1852,1853,1668,1572,489,371,368,979,1273,340,141,1387,1817,1789,490,149,1807,537,1593,40,189,993,640,512,309,1351,405,638,130,1755,1733,339,1464,6,1856,581,94,98,162,298,542,93,111,1859,4,2,1771,719,718,104,599,1840,1858,42,1680,38,523,967,1260,1550,1862,374,369],"class_list":["post-3209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-national-politics","tag-2024-election","tag-amazon","tag-bezos","tag-bitcoin","tag-bluesky","tag-capitol-police","tag-cnn","tag-comedy","tag-congress","tag-dc","tag-dc-humor","tag-dc-jokes","tag-dc-news","tag-dc-politics","tag-dc-satire","tag-department-of-justice","tag-disney-plus","tag-dmv","tag-dmv-news","tag-dmv-satire","tag-dod","tag-donald-trump","tag-dr-fauci","tag-ebay","tag-election-2024","tag-elon-musk","tag-epa","tag-executive-branch","tag-facebook","tag-fake-news","tag-fed-buyout","tag-federal-employee","tag-fox-news","tag-free-speech","tag-funny","tag-gmail","tag-google","tag-google-news","tag-house-of-representatives","tag-hulu","tag-humor","tag-instagram","tag-insurrection","tag-joke","tag-jokes","tag-kamala-harris","tag-laugh","tag-local-news","tag-local-satire","tag-maga","tag-maryland","tag-maryland-news","tag-maryland-satire","tag-md-politics","tag-moco","tag-moco-news","tag-moco-politics","tag-moco-satire","tag-montgomery-county","tag-montgomery-county-news","tag-montgomery-county-satire","tag-netflix","tag-new-york-times","tag-news","tag-omb","tag-onion","tag-parody","tag-political-satire","tag-politics","tag-qanon","tag-reddit","tag-satire","tag-satirical-news","tag-supreme-court","tag-takoma","tag-takoma-park","tag-takoma-park-humor","tag-takoma-park-news","tag-takoma-park-satire","tag-takoma-torch","tag-the-onion","tag-tiktok","tag-treasury","tag-trump","tag-trump-news","tag-twitter","tag-usa","tag-virginia-satire","tag-washington-post","tag-woke","tag-x","tag-yahoo","tag-youtube","wpcat-10-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/takomatorch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/elon-musk8158889575797416706.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paPZSG-PL","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3209"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3209\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3212,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3209\/revisions\/3212"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/takomatorch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}